Present Not Accounted For/Transcript
opens up showing the Fanlair, then Fanboy sleeping in bed. He is snoring when a shadow looms over him. This turns out to be Chum Chum, excitedly smiling into his face Chum Chum: excitedly Fanboy: Eh, good morning, Chum Chum. out to show F&C's noses touching You uh, been here all night? Chum Chum: Just the last couple hours. Ready to get up, get up, get up, get up, GET UP!!! he says this, he happily bounces around finally lifting up Fanboy's bed Fanboy: Why so perky this morning, Chum? Chum Chum: Ha ha ha! Like you don't know that it's my... to Fanboy's perspective of Chum Chum. Chum Chum: B to the I to the R-T-H D to the A to the Y-Y-Y WHY?!? CAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! Fanboy: Well, birthday song. I haven't heard that since the last time it was your birthday... skin drains to grey as he moans unthrillingly it's your birthday... hooray. Chum Chum: in shock You didn't forget, did you? Fanboy: Forget? laugh Oh, oh, you kill me. No, how could I forget? Chum Chum: I knew it! It sounded so silly coming out of my mouth. Cause you would never forget my birthday, and you always get me exactly what I want! and bounces away Fanboy: Ooh, I forgot Chum Chum's birthday! his alarm clock This is your fault. Why didn't you remind me? Fanboy's alarm: I did. Every day. For a month. to Fanboy in bed while his alarm clock tries to remind him Fanboy's alarm: Don't forget -- punched -- Chum Chum's -- punched -- birthday -- stomped on -- stop hitting -- hit by a mallet -- trying to help -- hit by an anvil of flashback Fanboy: Eh, doesn't ring a bell. Fanboy's alarm: That's because you broke my bell. Fanboy: for a moment, then... Oh, I know what I'll do! While Chum Chum's eating breakfast, I'll sneak out and get him a gift. Chum Chum: out of night table drawer Ready for school? Fanboy: like a chimp '' ''screen "breaks" to reveal the school. Inside... Fanboy: Now, Chum Chum. Don't be upset if some of your classmates didn't remember your birthday. It doesn't make them bad people. opens the door, it is dark. Suddenly, a spotlight appears and everyone emerges in their party hats Class: Happy Birthday, Chum Chum! Hank: B to the I to the R-T-H D to the A to the Y-Y-Y WHY?!? CAUSE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!! give Chum Chum a birthday crown and toss him into the air and cheer as he giggles. Fanboy just stands at the door sulky Hank: Okay, everyone! Just bring your presents to the front of the class and stack them on my desk. and Cheech wheelbarrow their presents to Hank's desk Oh, I love that Talking Raccoon! I hopes he likes my present. at a forklift with a big gift box, and accidently bonks Fanboy to Lupe Lupe: Where's your present, Fanboy? Fanboy: Umm, mine isn't here, because it's in...space. Ha, ha. Space, I names a star after him. I mean, bunch of stars. A whole galaxy! You didn't do that, you know. Note to self: name a galaxy after Chum Chum. Also purchase a portable tape recorder. Lupe: Yeah, I figured you already got him most of the galaxies, so I just got him this sun. the blinds to reveal a sun with Chum Chum's face on it Fanboy: gasp Lupe: He should be able to see it all weekend. The forecast calls for chummy skies on Saturday and Chumday. burns in the sun and his jaw drops Yo: Hey, Fanboy! Fanboy: AAAHHHH! Yo: By any chance, did you happen to buy Chum Chum a pair of anti-gravity rocket boots at a top-secret government auction? Hmm? Fanboy: Uh, no. Did you? Yo: in the rocket boots disguised as gift boxes attatched to her feet I'm not authorized to say! away Cheech and Michael: simultaneously Woo! Yay! Alright! Fanboy: Aww, everyone got all these amazing gifts but me. Fankylechum walk by, humming and carrying nuts and bolts in a bucket Well, at least Fankylechum only got him a bucket of bolts. drilling and buzzing. Suddenly, a robotic dragon driven by Fankylechum approaches him AAAAAHHHHHH!!! Fankylechum: as his robot dragon eats the bucket Ooh, Mecharex, you are hungry. as Mecharex burns Fanboy, then walks away in it. Fanboy flops to the ground in ashes is lying on the floor, burnt and scarred Chum Chum (in Fanboy's mind): You always get me exactly what I want. Exactly what I want. Exactly what I want. And also, we're out of toilet paper. Fanboy: Ugh! I gotta get outta here and find a present without Chum Chum seeing! Think, Fanboy, think! out his brain and puts it on a table Come on, brain, don't die on me. Don't you die on meeeee! his brain with remembering bolts I got it! goes over to Chum Chum, who is about to open a gift, and blindfolds him Chum Chum: Ooh, my favorite game, Pin the Tail on the Donkey! Fanboy: Pin the Tail on the -- eh, that'll work, too. Chum Chum around, then throws him far away That should buy me enough time to find chum chum a -- is a "poke" HEE-HAW! Chum Chum: a dart with a donkey's tail into Fanboy's butt Did I Pin the Tail on the Donkey? Fanboy: pain In a matter of speaking... Kyle: offscreen ''And now... ''to a close-up of a top hat on a table, a wand taps on it. Kyle: for your birthday enjoyment... Chum Chum: Ooh! The entertainment's starting! Chum takes Fanboy over to a crowd. Cuts to Kyle standing in front of the blackboard, waving his wand and standing next to said table with with hat. Kyle: May I present...Kyle, close-up the Conjurer. Crowd: applause Chum Chum: Ooh, Kyle! I didn't know you did magic. Can you make a penny come outta my nose? Kyle: Since it's your birthday, Chum Chum back to the crowd I'll ignore that. And instead... lights in the classroom start to go out perform MAGIC! lights go out So dark, spotlight comes up on him it'll cause you changes to a set of mountains in snow mere mortals, to weep before me, changes to a dark background, where he is in front of various dark lights and bow down, in awe, of my infinite power! is a puff of smoke as Kyle disappears, what's left of him is his cape and a flock of seagulls. They fly away and the cape hits the floor. He then reappears front and center, wearing a spare cape '' '''Crowd:' applause Kyle: Thank you. Thank you. Chum Chum: Ooh. Now can you pour milk into a newspaper? Kyle: Eh-heh, for my next trick, up his hat ''I had something grander in mind. I would now like to -- '''Fanboy:' out of Kyle's hat Make someone disappear? Done! leaves Crowd: astonishingly Kyle: Huh? I was going to summon a dragon, to paint your name, in fire! Chum Chum: offscreen I want a balloon poodle. Fanboy runs around the playground Fanboy: Present, present, I gotta find a present! Eh, eh, a bush flowers! Nothing says "I care" like freshly pilfered flowers. some flowers and sniffs them in the classroom, the magic show is over and everyone continued to party Fanboy: B to the A to the R-T-Y, D to the -- cake tramples him Chris Chuggy: Wa-waaaa! Chum Chum/Lupe/Nancy/Francine: Cake! Fanboy: out from under the cake For anybody keeping score, uhh, birthday cake is not a present. the cake turns to ice and Man-Arctica pops out Chum Chum/Lupe/Nancy/Francine: Man-Arctica! Fanboy: Oh, come on! Man-Arctica: Greetings, Earth larvae. I don't normally do private birthday parties, but, I got this very touching letter from one Crystal Ball Chuggy. It reads: Chuggy's letter "Wah-wah, wah-wah-wa-wah..." and this is the part that really breaks me up. "Wah, wah." to himself How could I say no? Chum Chum: Thanks, Chuggy, what a great gift. Chris Chuggy: Wa-wah. Man-Arctica: Why don't we use my Device-cicle to open these great presents your friends have gotten you? Fanboy: Wait! We...can't open presents before we have cake and ice cream. And I don't see any ice cream, so...we can't open presents. Oh well, boo-doo, birthday's over. Sorry everyone, time to go home. pushing everyone away Fankylechum: Wait! Mecharex dispenses frozen yogurt. Will that do? Fanboy: Now I'll top carob chips. Be right back! leaves the hallway... Fanboy: Duh, what am I gonna do? He's already opening presents and I've got zero minus zero. And I'm wasting all this time doing math! looks at him in a shadow next to him Russ: Pss! Hey, buddy. You uh, looking for a little action...figure? Fanboy: Janitor Poopatine? Chum Chum: the distance Poop! Russ: Ee-shibit! Don't use my real name! Call me..."Janitor P". Don't look at me, look at it! Fanboy's head away from him Good. Okay, now follow me to my office. himself into a janitor's mop bucket and rides it away. Fanboy follows him Janitor Poopatine's office... Russ: So, see anything you like? picks something up from the briefcase full of junk in front of him Ooh, got your eye on the Kooky Klay. up in the case If you want more, I got a clown who can get you a whole timy carful! Fanboy: Say no more, I'll take the whole lot of 'em! him a bag of money Wait a minute, these look a lot like our confiscated toys. Russ: the briefcase shut Uhh, you must be mistaken. Agent Johnson: voiceover Freeze, tell the police! Russ: Oh, cheese it, at once! runs out as Agent Johnson chases him Russ: to hold onto the window on top of his office door Oh, uh, if you don't mind, I found them. No, I'm just holding them for a -- blend! go Agent Johnson: Russ Save it for the judge, Poopatine! Your days of selling confiscated toys are over! Fanboy: Oh, I was so close! Now, I'm never gonna find a -- at the abandoned briefcase Hello, what is this? A briefcase? The perfect accessory! Chum Chum will love it! He can bring it to the office and use it casually at home. I'm saved! at the party... Chum Chum: Aww, and this one's from Dollarnator. another gift, then sees Fanboy Hey, Fanboy! Fanboy: Oh, is it time for presents? Good thing I brought mine. Which I always had all day. And here it is... his briefcase this amazing, super-awesome, incredible... Agent Johnson: voiceover Excuse me, Mr. Fanboy! Fanboy: Eh? Agent Johnson: I'm afraid I have to confiscate that briefcase. Fanboy: Huh? Huh? No! Agent Johnson: I'm sorry, Fanboy, but this is evidence. Say, Chum Chum, why don't you open this present? him a gift Chum Chum: Ooh! Agent Johnson: It's not much, just a little something from the boys down at the station. Chum Chum: gift and takes a briefcase out Ooh! A briefcase! I love it! Fanboy: Uhh...eg, eg, eg,...uh... Chum Chum: I can take it to the office, or use it casually at home! Fanboy: then cries Chum Chum: Fanboy, what's the matter? Fanboy: sniff Oh, Chum Chum. I forgot your birthday-y-y-y-y. I don't have a present! sob That confiscated briefcase was the only gift I could find! crying Man-Arctica/Michael/Cheech/Nancy/Chris Chuggy: gasp Chum Chum: But I didn't expect two presents! Fanboy: sniff Two presents? What do you mean? Chum Chum: You already gave me the best present. You spent the whole day with me! shows a slideshow of what happened over the course of the episode Chum Chum: voiceover We woke up in the morning together, we played Pin the Tail on your Butt together, you did an amazing magic trick for me... Kyle: I helped. Chum Chum: ''voiceover'' We met Man-Arctica together! We opened all my other presents together! Being together is the best present you could ever give me! of slideshow Chum Chum: Fanboy And that's exactly what I want. Everyone: Aww!/That's sweet. hug Fanboy: sniff You're right! sniff That is the best present. Say, isn't that what I gave you last year? Chum Chum: Silly, it's what you give me every year. Fanboy: You sure are easy to shop for, Chum Chum. at the Fanlair, Fanboy and Chum Chum are relaxing on the roof watching the Chumsun set. Chum Chum is lying on Mecharex Fanboy: Wow. What a beautiful Chumset! Sooooo, we can both share your birthday presents, right? Chum Chum: Of course! Be my guest! Fanboy: over to Mecharex and holds up a plate for his fro yo Come on, yogurt! a button on Mecharex, but gets burnt by its flame Wrong button. to the ground in ashes Category:Transcripts